2008-07-26

It is so easy to fall in love

When my husband and I found out we were expecting our second child, we were so happy. We love MLO totally and completely and looked forward to the joy of adding more of this love into our lives.

Not much time had passed, but we happily told friends and got many hugs of joy. We started thinking about names, throwing one at each other every now and then.

The weekend before last I started bleeding. I was out of town at BlogHer and so could only call my mid-wife and OB. They both told me that bleeding during pregnancy wasn't too unusual, many women do and eventually stop and everything is fine. Bleeding can start because of intercourse or other strenuous activities and the best thing was to take it easy.

I skipped all the parties at BlogHer, tried to rest as much as possible.

Unfortunately Sunday night I started cramping and bleeding heavily and Monday the doctor sadly informed me I had miscarried.

The baby had only been with me for 2 1/2 months, such a short time, but enough time to fall in love with him.

In some ways I feel funny that I miss this little one so much, being that it was about the size of a jelly bean. In other ways though the baby was already so much a part of my life that of course I would miss it.

I am sure it is nothing compared to some other unfortunate situations that could have happened (I have read stories of still born babies and that would crush me, or even worse, losing a child that had been with you out side the womb).

But it feels perfectly natural to grieve over my lost one. We will be trying again and I will have another baby in my arms, but in the meantime I am mourning my loss a little.

2 comments:

magickat said...

Oh Romie. I am so sorry.

I'm weeping with you, friend.

kailani said...

How awful for you. Especially since you were away from home at the time. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.