It is so easy to fall in love

When my husband and I found out we were expecting our second child, we were so happy. We love MLO totally and completely and looked forward to the joy of adding more of this love into our lives.

Not much time had passed, but we happily told friends and got many hugs of joy. We started thinking about names, throwing one at each other every now and then.

The weekend before last I started bleeding. I was out of town at BlogHer and so could only call my mid-wife and OB. They both told me that bleeding during pregnancy wasn't too unusual, many women do and eventually stop and everything is fine. Bleeding can start because of intercourse or other strenuous activities and the best thing was to take it easy.

I skipped all the parties at BlogHer, tried to rest as much as possible.

Unfortunately Sunday night I started cramping and bleeding heavily and Monday the doctor sadly informed me I had miscarried.

The baby had only been with me for 2 1/2 months, such a short time, but enough time to fall in love with him.

In some ways I feel funny that I miss this little one so much, being that it was about the size of a jelly bean. In other ways though the baby was already so much a part of my life that of course I would miss it.

I am sure it is nothing compared to some other unfortunate situations that could have happened (I have read stories of still born babies and that would crush me, or even worse, losing a child that had been with you out side the womb).

But it feels perfectly natural to grieve over my lost one. We will be trying again and I will have another baby in my arms, but in the meantime I am mourning my loss a little.


Wait Here

MLO is now getting into the habit of telling me to wait somewhere while she does something.

We go to her room for reading time but forget her juice, "wait here, I go ask daddy for juice".

Daddy is talking on the phone in his office and it is dinner time, "wait here, I go get daddy"

I forget to bring napkins to the dinner table, "wait here, I get napkis".

Wants a different toy to play with, "wait here, I be right back."

That gets repeated a lot too: "I be right back".

Have I really said it that often? Funny how things you say a lot and don't realize it, get repeated back to you by your kids.


Busy, busy, busy

I went to a conference this weekend and left MLO with daddy.

It was a COMPLETE success with a lot of bonding happening. Even when I came home she gave me a big hug and was very happy to see me, but had to make sure daddy wasn't leaving now.

He said that there were constant little things she said and did which were fabulous and so adult, but he didn't write any of them down.

She is an amazing little girl and she is so grown-up. I love that she understood what was happening, behaved like such a big little girl and still has amazing affection to give.

Lots of stuff happening since then, some good, some bad and some just busy :)


Leaving for Conference

I am leaving for a conference today, will be gone until Sunday night.

I explained it all to MLO and she took it VERY well. She is excited to see her grandma, sevta and daddy all weekend long. Daddy is going to take her to Descanso Gardens and ride the train so she is set.

The fact is, she took it so well, I feel sad!!

Wait a minute, isn't this what I wanted, her to be a little more independent of me and able to happily be with others so I could get some time for me!! Now that it happened, I just want to hug her.

She knows mommy is leaving for a few days and it was one of the easiest days to drop her off at daycare, no fuss, no lingering hugs. I was the one still hugging her after she was ready for me to leave.

If I am having this much trouble when she is three, what is in my future!!

I will be apart from my baby for three whole days. I want to go run to the daycare and cuddle some more before I go (but I don't have time).


Turning Heads

Last night MLO was running around the house like a crazy girl. She was laughing hysterically having a great time.

At one point I grabbed her to button up her nightgown (as she had only let me do one button when she put it on).

After I was done, she asked me what I had done and I told her I had buttoned the back of her jammy dress.

She wanted to see it so put her hands on either side of her head and tried to turn her head around so she could see her back.

Hubby and I were rolling with laughter as she kept trying.

She eventually gave up on the head turning thing and tried to swing her clothes around (without taking her arms out of the nightgown).


Potty Training Update

We have now reached the point where she goes pee in the big potty each morning (as long as I get her on the potty right after she wakes up).

She went #2 with grandma last weekend and promptly got very upset for some reason. I can't seem to get her back on for a second try of that, though the daycare was successful of this once.

I just need a weekend with no commitments, and we are going to do the naked baby weekend.

It is funny how when you try to have an empty weekend, it doesn't happen. While most of the time I am bored and have to work hard to find stuff to do.


MLO: "Oh s**t"

So last night, MLO was sitting on grandma's bench swing in her backyard. I was sitting next to her and we were trying to swing.

Grandma said that that you have to shift the swing over (because it is on a hill) to make it swing.

My daughter than says: "Oh sh*t".

Grandma says, "no shift" with a great emphasis on the "f".

My daughter shakes her head and says, "oh sh*t."

I ask her "what" and she repeats it.

I then ask her who says that (hoping she doesn't say mommy, because I admit to not being perfect). Grandma says under her breath but loud enough for me to hear "don't say grandma".

MLO promptly says the name of the daycare lady.

Now, I know this lady personally as a friend outside of the daycare and she doesn't swear much. I am not worried about the influence (but will mention it).

However both grandma and me were happy not to have our names said.


Going to sleep

MLO is currently camping out in her room each night.

She has two stuffed animals that are bigger than her and we lay them on the floor side-by-side.

We throw her large comforter over them and then she curls up on them with her little pink pillow and her tinker bell blanket.

I then sit in the rocking chair and read her a book, after which I turn off the light and rock in the chair while she falls asleep.

Occasionally she wakes up in the middle of the night and I come into the room to help her move to her bed, but more often she sleeps the whole night through on her animal bed.

She also now comes and gets me in my bed when she wakes up. No more of the "mommy" yelling from her bed, she comes gets me, yeah!! Just in time for the change needed for the new baby coming!


Happy 4th of July

We are out having fun this weekend, enjoying all the great freedoms we have that come with being citizens of this great country.

While I don't agree with everything "we" do and I would see many things change. Because of the way in which this country is set up, we do have the opportunities to express our views and push for change. Something that can't be done in many other places around the world.

Have a great holiday weekend!


Regular phrases

Here are a sample of the phrases I hear the most often from MLO. She does have some favorites:

1. I'm going poopy
2. The light is red
3. The light is green (2 and 3 while driving)
4. The tree is going to get me
5. I will keep you safe
6. So happy to see you
7. Sit next to me
8. Where is daddy?
9. Where is my baby?
10. Don't want to wash my hair (though she does, but she never "wants" to)
11. Daddy can play Pocahontas (hubby plays the flute and started playing the main Pocahontas song for her)
12. Can we got outside?

She talks up a storm, but these phrases are said several times a week regularly.